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Online Dating: Impress Your Date's Friend

If you think meeting your date’s parents is the biggest test you’ll face early in your relationship, think again. It’s actually his or her friends you need to worry about. These people are your sweetie’s “chosen family” and they have the power to influence your date’s opinions. They are the people who will talk to your date later on and say, “Hey, hang on to this one—you guys are really good together,” or “I know you two are having fun, but I see some red flags.” In other words, you have to impress your date, and your date’s friends.
            That sounds intimidating, but remember: You’re a great person. And your date already knows that, so, very likely, his or her pals will, too. But to make things easier, here are a few tips:

1. Be respectful. Unfortunately, there’s a good chance that your date has been in a relationship in the past with someone who didn’t rate a 10 on the kindness and maturity scale. That’s why that former flame is yesterday’s news, and today you get a chance. But those loyal friends have long memories, and they will be on the lookout for history repeating itself. Treat your date with consideration and respect at all times—but especially when you’re with friends. Don’t tease, put down, or joke about your date, even in fun. Friends can be very protective, and if they don’t like what they see, they’ll help push the eject button on your relationship.
2. Be a considerate guest. If you’ve been invited over to the friend’s house, stop and grab a bottle of wine or a six pack, a bunch of flowers, something for dessert—contribute to the occasion in some way. Or, if you’ve gone out on the town, buy a round. It’s a nice gesture, and quietly impresses.
3. Gracefully allow yourself to be grilled. Even though everyone knows people who have met and even married people they met through the Internet, there are still some people who wonder if you can really meet a great person through an online dating site. Prove to them that you can. Don’t be defensive, but do be prepared for questions like, “Do you have trouble meeting people in real life?” “Are all your dates online connections?” Excellent answers include work schedule pressures, desire to meet someone with a specific shared interest, or simply curiosity. “I decided to look online one night. And that’s when I found your friend’s profile. That was the luckiest surfing I ever did!”
4. Fit in. Look for things you have in common with the friends. Browse their CD or book collections. Ask about travels. Talk about local attractions you all enjoy. Avoid hot-button topics such as religion and politics for now, and stick with things that are fun and easy to talk about.
5. Have fun. You have at least one thing in common with these people: Your date. Relax and enjoy their company. If things go well, these people could become your friends, too.